Dedicated to: Bells ;)

K, Bells... don't laugh too hard. I can just see you sitting on the front lawn doin' some of this stuff... It's hilarious though! This had me rolling on the floor dying laughing! :D
Well, ok that's a little drastic. To be precise, I was giggling. Because you really shouldn't roll on the floor laughing when you're sitting in your local coffee shop. It's socially unacceptable (and what's more, they'll bring little men in to give you a new white jacket and tote you away in their little van). I've learned this through the years. Yup! No rolling on the floor laughing, no describing the rest-stops you encountered on your last trip through Montana, no eating Bar-B-Qued ribs in front of a vegetarian (it drives 'em crazy!), no pinching the canned fruit to see if they're ripe, and no disco-dancing to Johann Strauss' Blue Danube Waltz. These simple rules (along with many others which I shall reveal to you at a later time..) are all you need to survive in today's ever-pressing social world.

So. Here's a list of other things you can do to amuse youself! These are perfectly acceptable to do in public and please don't let anyone convince you otherwise. (But let me know if you actually do these, because then I will be rolling on the floor dying laughing!)

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice..
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
• Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
• Dont use any punctuation
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?
• Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood..
• When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"
• When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
• Tell your children over dinner."Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

K. So even if you never do any of these, let me know which one you've always wanted to do!

Have a Happy Day everyone!! :D